Ignorant tourists
I went down to the river today. I've been going down there every day for the past few days. I'm not sure why; I don't swim or anything, I just get an urge so I go. I usually sit on a picnic table and look at the water for a while. Nothing wrong with that. Except the river unfortunately happens to be a hot-spot for tourists. And we all know how I feel about tourists.

So I light up a smoke and walk down to my usual picnic table. But sitting on the grass nearby is some tourists. "Smoking kills more than just you, you know!" yells an intelligence-impaired tourist.

You know what? Fuck you, you stupid, pompous, self-righteous, rich little ignorant bitch. Just because it's open-season on smokers lately doesn't make you a better person than me. You don't think smoking is a disease? You don't think I try to quit every fucking two days. You don't think my life is ruined because of fucking cigarettes and I'm doomed to spend my life desperately trying to cypher money out of the gutters and trashbins of society just to feed your ignorant tourist lifestyle? Do you walk up to people with lukemia and notify them that it's bad for them? Who are you to tell me how to live my life? What did you see when I walked by? Did you see a human-being? No. You saw a fucking cigarette. What do you want me to do? Do you think it's my fucking fault cigarettes kill people? I try to quit every fucking day and all I get in return is a bunch of subhuman tourist bastards yelling at me. Don't whine to me about it. Go to the fucking du Maurier headquarters and burn the fucking place down. What the fuck do you want me to do? Pull a gun out of my pocket and shoot myself right then and there? Do you want me to fucking kill myself on command, master? Tell me what to fucking do, since you're obviously so much smarter than me and on such a higher, next-to-fucking-God plateau that you think you can waltz into other people's towns and notify them that they are wrong. You are right and everyone else is wrong. It's your way or the fucking highway. Other people only exist to please you.

Sorry, bitch. Just pump some more terrorist-funding gasoline into your missile funding SUV and get the fuck out of my town.