Wednesday, July 23, 2003

Tao of Dowingba semi-anniversary
I've been sitting at the computer for a while now just trying to think of something to post. It's not a lack of ideas, not by a long shot. It's too many ideas. I need to organize my thoughts.

As usual, I did some compulsive editing to this page while I brooded over an entry subject. It took me about an hour, but I got it to put each day's posts in a separate table. It would have been easy except, since I edit the HTML directly in my browser, I can't format it correctly, and it gets incredibly confusing to look at. Just "view source" to see what horrible HTML I've been writing.

I've been blogging for almost 6 months now, and I've gotten quite comfortable with doing it (see this post for more details); indeed, it has become quite an addiction. I've also gotten used to the idea of posting pretty much anything that interests me in my day-to-day life, without discrimination, which results in me often posting several entries a day. But lately I've been having a weird sensation. The fact is, everything worth talking about in my life is published in this journal, so when I actually talk to people, I always feel like I'm repeating myself, everything seems contrived. Or, at the other end of the spectrum, if I post something after I talk about it with people, I feel repeated and contrived while writing it in my weblog. I'm sure there's no solution to this problem but it's not like it affects my life much anyway. It's just an interesting side effect to weblogging.

Another strange phenomenon: I can't bring myself to say "blog" or "blogging" in "real life". I have trouble even saying "weblog". It just sounds so, well, geeky. These words were clearly created for, and only for, text based purposes.

I had some other thoughts about the nature of influence and how it infects your mind like a virus, but those thoughts need some in-brain editing before I post them. Probably later tonight it'll be up there. Sheesh, and I'm complaining about feeling contrived.