English as a second language
Sometimes when I look back at things I've written, it almost seems as though it was written by someone with English as a second language. But I assure you, English is my first language. I had some serious problems with language as a kid, but speech therapy when I was 4 or 5 years old seems to have fixed it. Or did it?

Perhaps because of the speech therapy being rooted in my mind, or perhaps because of something entirely different, I began to view English as a second language. I became obsessed with English. I studied it seriously. I even read the Oxford dictionary cover-to-cover (it was actually a very interesting read). The fact is, I stopped viewing English as "my language", and began to view it as an artifact, something separate from myself. When you view English objectively, it is actually a very fascinating language. I know quite a bit of French (enough to get by easily in Quebec), and I can tell you, French is a very dull language. The logistics of French just aren't very interesting. English, however, is a mathematical flavour explosion!

So when you're reading my blog and come across a part with particularly odd diction, don't think of me as some language dullard, think of me as a "foreigner", someone who learned English as a second language. Because basically, I did.

Note: Some of the more recent diction eccentricities can be attributed to my meat-sliced finger. The bandage is gone now, so the typos should end (but probably won't), but the pain is still there, so I will still be instinctively avoiding the use of that finger while engaging in trivial matters such as typing.