Dogs suck ass, literally and figuratively
(Actually posted May 31 2003, 16:15)
Our next-door neighbours recently sold their house. Our new neighbours moved in today. They have a dog. Dogs suck ass, literally and figuratively. We are humans, they are dogs, can it be made any clearer? Throughout history, humans have had few natural predators, two of which have been cats and dogs. Judging by The Matrix, interspecies wars apparently end with one species enslaving the other, so my question is this: who really won the war? Do we "own" dogs as a way to solidify our victory over our historical nemesis? As far as I can tell, the "owning" of dogs only indignifies humans. We let these smelly, dirty, shit-eating beasts into our homes and we feed them and groom them and inhale their particular shit-covered smell. And about twice a week, they kill their masters anyway. So we stopped fighting, even to the point of making it illegal to hurt a dog, we feed them and pamper them and degrade ourselves to their level. They continue to kill humans, incurring no actual blame themselves (their human "masters" get the blame). Open your eyes, people. The dogs won.

Note: This post also applies to cats, except cats eat less shit and they don't smell quite as bad. Oh, and they rarely kill humans.